


Small Knowledge

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-11-19
Updated: 2002-11-19
Packaged: 2019-04-27 05:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: the truth at last





	Small Knowledge

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

Small Knowledge

## Small Knowledge

### by diehard

Title: Small Knowledge  
Author: diehard  
Category: MSR/Vignette  
Keywords: the truth at last  
Spoilers: S7, but let's pretend   
'all things' never happened,  
Pre-Requiem. 

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It's a feling I can't shake...restless, reckless, bone-deep, a longing for something I can't even define. To be anywhere but where I am at the time. My heart beats wildly and my hands shake, and all the while I have a feeling of waiting for something to start... I feel that I am supposed to gather strength. From where and for what purpose I have yet to discover. 

No, that's a lie. Ahab's daughter is a liar. I know what I long for, but I'm afraid. And I don't need strength, I need courage, courage to face myself, courage to face the signs. 

My dreams are filled with strange images. In one, I am walking along the top of an enormous dam. On one side is a town and on the other is a vast, menacing, deep ocean. I plunge off the dam, and instead of being terrified, I'm excited, liberated. I plunge into the water, and the water's warm, a baptism. In another, I'm shrouded in linen on an examining table. A man begins to slowly, unwrap me, layer by layer, embracing me when I'm finally free. I revel in his touch, crave it as I come alive once and for all. 

In yet another dream and I am in a small plane, piloted by a man whose face I can't see. We fly through thick cloud cover and I am confused until the plane rises through the clouds and the stars and planets and galaxies wheel before me. I turn to him and say, "Now I understand." 

What does all of this mean? I feel like I am being initiated into something. Am I to make this journey alone? I'm very afraid of this wild force that's emerging, even though I've always known it's a part of me...And for the first time in my life, I don't want to keep it under control. 

Now I understand. 

It seems like an eternity, but I get up from where I'm sitting, pick up the phone and finally do the one thing that make sense, ask for the one thing I need. 

"Mulder, it's me." 

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**   
  


#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to diehard


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